dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
