Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I want a musical about memes.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
