Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
