Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
