So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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