if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
