More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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