Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize