at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
