is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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