Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
it was like eating out sand paper
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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