I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
