I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
