The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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