i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
is wine microwaveable?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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