ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
