your parents love me but you hate me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize