considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Blood and glitter go together right?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
