why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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