I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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