Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
