I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
