Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
