wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
