I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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