Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
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she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
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I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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