WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
