do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
