bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
