Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We are two peas in an std pod
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He better not be in your backpack
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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