i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
