people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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