I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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