So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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