One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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