toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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