that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
