This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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