Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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