i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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