Don't you send me to vm
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
