I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
