I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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