please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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