Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
