You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
