oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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