Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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