I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
