i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
birth control should be required to get into college
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
