I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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