i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I touched a dick in church today
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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