he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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