he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she told me i tasted like america
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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