Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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