he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
